Nobody John…Nobody

Never thought this is where you’d end up John..You used to be my boy on Continuum and every album before that but now you write this strange, under-publicized (for a good reason), semi-terrible record about studying your battled relationship with Jennifer Aniston who from the album we’ve learned must have a considerable taste for Ambien and red wine, together, right before she comes over to your house to beat you up. Its called abuse John, call the police, don’t write a record about it!

A song that says it includes Taylor Swift who seems to only sing a measure on the whole song…why is she even on the record? I mean if you’re going to include an over-rated, Kanye-hated, teenage, heartbreak-country queen why not let her sing a few more bars!? What about the (very catchy) song about your insecurities with marijuana and a terrible cover of a Clapton cover of Crossroads by a father of blues. (That’s like Kenny G dubbing his sax over Louis Armstrong’s songs!)

What’s wrong with you, John? Guess it was the long nights in Baton Rouge, those girls on the county line and all the “heartbreak warfare”. Not to mention the drugs which someone says you can’t take, (Maybe it’s your mom). Go ahead and take some time John, take some time to actually listen over your record and figure out what the heck you were thinking. (I still think this is all Jeniffer’s fault) Sigh…


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